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I have to agree about the "just joking" line. It's classic emotional abuse. Very popular in our family, esp. my father. As a result, none of us are close and I didn't really mourn when he died. I'd love to see Elly get a really clever comeback that makes the point that humor at someone else's expense is just barely-disguised hostility. No one should have to put someone else down to put themselves up.

HornPlayerMI