Sunday, June 9, 2013

Lynn's Comments: When I was a kid, a travelling salesman came to the door selling piano accordions. I'm not kidding. With every purchase, they threw in a year's worth of lessons. My mother, wanting me to play something (that wouldn't swallow half the living room and take ten years to pay off), actually considered buying one. Here was a piano-like instrument that was almost portable! I liked polkas and accordion music in general, but the cool factor was lacking. I declined. A real piano would have been great, but this was not the same! In desperation, she promised me that playing the accordion would increase my bust size. As a "budding" teen, this argument had merit, but the piano accordion still wasn't my thing.

Years later, when I was living in southern Ontario, I met some musicians from Newfoundland. Caught up in my love for east coast music, I bought myself a button accordion. This I learned to play not too badly and after awhile, it showed. I was indeed building up bulges where none had been--on my arms. I actually had pipes! I knew then that the old arm-pumping exercise to the cry of, "We must, we must, we must improve our bust!" was hogwash. The only sure way to enhance the unenhanceable, is through surgery! I still play my accordion, but only for sympathetic friends, and I don't really care about the bust line. I do have a word of advice, however, "Ladies, it's a fine instrument, but...never play an accordion in the nude!"

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